So, do we still kill zombies?
by gNat2
Summary: I was introducing my friend to Left 4 Dead in order for her to be in the fandom as well, but I never asked to live it! Join me, Natalie, and my best friend Kirstin as we travel with the first L4D survivors through the campaigns. Will we make it out of Pennsylvania with the group? Are we even immune? No pairings yet!
1. I hate expositions

**Hello fellow survivors, infected, carriers, whatever you are! I'm gNat2 and this is my very stupid Left 4 Dead fanfiction starring me and my friend, who goes by the name ****Meepalicious on here. This was inspired by one (and possibly only) fanfiction Meepalicious has uploaded in the Lord of the Rings fandom where the Fellowship come to Earth and four girls show them the way of life and a way back to their world. It's random, funny, and creative. So if you're a hobbit, wizard, elf, or the son of some evil ass king, she's the one you should follow after you R&R this fic! Plus hers has some Hetalia references here and there...**

******Enough about her! This story can also go to what the reviewers would want, like Francis and one of the OCs grow a better friendship or Zoey becomes jealous at Francis and what not...Pairings are unknown! It could be a possibly chance of CCxOC. But it's mostly up to me and sometimes you. Also, there is no The Sacrifice campaign since I love Bill. A lot. He's a hero, and not just because he was a Vietnam War veteran.**

******Random note here, this was uploaded at 2 AM xD. Plus I emailed Meep on what the title should be. I got no reply since I'm the only night bat in my friends.**

******I DO NOT OWN LEFT 4 DEAD OR KIRSTIN! L4D BELONGS TO VALVE AND KIRSTIN OWNS HERSELF...HOPEFULLY!**

* * *

It's fun when you say that you want to be in a zombie apocalypse, but it can really bite you on the ass if it really happens. Do you want it with a plan out infection and live out in a farm like in _The Walking Dead?_ Or have some sort of mutant hump your head and take over your body like in _Half-Life?_ Maybe you want to shoot weird things that look like in a zombie infected…thing from_ House of the Living Dead_…or anything with the word 'Dead' in it? Want to be in a world with the word 'Dead' in it with a number before that and a simple direction after that?

Fine, I won't play games with you anymore. I'll just tell you the story of how I got IN a game.

~I hate flashbacks~

"Oh Natalie~. I'm here to bother you!" My best friend, Kirstin, barged into my house one afternoon. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail with a side of her hair hanging on the side, occasionally blocking her eyes through her contacts. She wore one of those "Honey badgers don't care" shirts with jeans and a small handbag with a long handle under her arm.

From the looks of it, it looked like she just came back from band camp and probably begged her mom to come over and surprise me without the presence of her annoying little brother. So much for my sleep in plan. "Hey Kirstin." I greeted as I closed my laptop and walked over to her. "Watchya doing?" She asked me 'innocently'.

"Nothing special, really." I replied. "Want to play something?" I pointed out my Xbox 360, which was lying down on its side. "Sadly, I do not have a kinect so that means I don't have_ Just Dance 3_." I told her.

I thought for a moment before saying, "Hey, how about something gory and full of zombies." I suggested. "Like _Left 4 Dead?_" When I got an approval of my friend, I booted up my three year old console and popped in my L4D disk.

"Um…" Kirstin stated. "I don't know how to use to controller for this." She confessed. After all, the only console she has was a Wii. So after wasting 10 minutes telling her the basics of L4D, we finally focused on the cinematic entrance.

"Okay, so the guy in the vest is Francis. Let me tell you, he hates a lot of stuff. The guy who just wiped crap on him was Bill; he's a veteran from the Vietnam War. The chick is Zoey; she's a college student majoring in movie directing. Lastly, the guy in the tie is Louis." I explained the survivors as they discussed that the zombies are changing into something big. When they heard the witch's cry I told my friend, "That's a witch, one of the special infected. Don't shine your flashlight at it or shoot it, it'll make her angry and incapacitate you." She nodded. Obviously, Zoey didn't knew that and Bill stopped her just in time. Soon the horde of zombies appears in the distance, "That's a horde of regular zombies, it's normal during the middle of a campaign and finales."

I continued on explaining the things she needs to know in the opening, mostly the special infected that appeared like the Hunter and the Tank. "Dude, that thing (Tank) is a psychopathic killing machine…on steroids!" She shouted in surprise. "You sound like you never met one before." I sarcastically replied to her.

"_We made it…we really made it."_ Louis huffed. _"We only crossed the street."_ Bill told him as he lit a cigarette. Kirstin laughed, "Bill is a total badass!" "I forgot to mention that they added three new special infected in the second game. The Jockey, the Spitter, and the Charger. Also they added a female Boomer." Kirstin gave me a disgusted look. "As if the total of gore in the opening already scared me for life."

The loading screen then quickly took the intro's place. After that, after jamming A for a while, we got to the character selection of a random campaign on Easy mode. "You can be Zoey and I'll be Bill, okay?" After going through the last minute of her comprehending all the controls once again, I pressed start and wait like an anxious gamer and professional zombie slayer.

But something wasn't right. Something was not the way it should be. Was it an update for a new campaign poster?

I paled at the loading screen. It was nothing like I've seen before, are you sure this was a campaign?

_The Wall. _

The Wall? That's an odd name for a campaign. It should've been more dark than just The Wall.

_Zombies aren't the only things that are breaking._

That was the caption underneath. This is really freaking me out, is Gabe Newell giving out a random DLC update or I'm going crazy.

"Say Natalie…Have you play this campaign before?" Kirstin's question made it worse. "No…I haven't…"

Suddenly, a flash of white covered my vision that soon bled to darkness as I passed out. When I wake up, I'm sure going to get a surprise.

* * *

**Part of this was partially true. But I introduced Meep to L4D2 instead of one but she stilled suck at it and let her brother play it.**

**Meep: HEY! I heard that! **

**So I hope you guys liked it, because I didn't. This introduction sucks more than it should! I think I need a beta to make me stop procrastinating...**


	2. I hate stairs

**Hey everyone! Welcome to the author's note of chapter 2! This is where Kirstin and I meet the gang and join the beginning of No Mercy!**

**Also, I got three reviews from last chapter! Here's some pills for you guys! -hands out pills- So now I'll reply to the reviews**

**Guest: Glad you like it! Here's 'more'!**

**RxSniper007: Childish fantasy? Sir (or Miss), you obviously left your Pyrovision googles on. Also, I think I know that episode of Jimmy Neutron you're talking about (it seems so long ago T_T). Also, I'm a girl.**

**Meepalicious: Y U NO SIGN ON? Just be happy I did your appearance, not mine. Speaking of which, I need to do that soon...**

**Like I said, thanks for those who reviewed, I hope more will do too! Also, am I the only one who noticed that the pain pills are Target brand pills? No...Just me? Fine! **

**I don't own Left 4 Dead, they're owned by Valve. If I was the creator of Valve, I WOULD'VE MADE HALF LIFE EPISODE 3 DONE ALREADY! THE NEXT SEASON OF KORRA WILL BE DONE BEFORE THEY EVEN FINISH THE PROLOGUE! -rage rant-**

* * *

I felt something kicking my side. "Stop that Francis, she's breathing." A voice that was old and somewhat scratched said. Where was I? I never remember some old guy or anyone coming into my house for an hour of Kirstin barging in and the black out. It's so hard to think with my head pounding in my ears!

"What happened?" Another voice asked. That was Kirstin's voice! C'mon senses, wake. up. FASTER! "We found you two lying down here." A womanly voice replied to her. Oh god, who the hell are these people and why are they so damn familiar?

My vision started to fade into blurry colors as the rest of my senses come back to normal, but my hearing was invaded by a loud sound of a helicopter literally screaming, _"TO ANY WHO CAN HEAR THIS, REPORT TO MERCY HOSPITAL IMMEDIATLEY FOR EVACUTAION!"_ His voice was on repeat until the sound of the chopper faded. I slowly got up to rub my ears, only to be tackled back down. "Natalie! I thought you were dead!" Kirstin cried out. "Glad to know that…May I please get up?" I asked her.

"About freakin' time you woke up!" A man with a black leather vest and tattoos decorating his arms groaned. "They're teenagers, Francis! Give them a break." A man with dark skin wearing a buttoned up shirt and a red tie defended us. As those two were bickering, I walked over to the ledge of the building and my eyes were shocked. There were people who look so…dead, with blood on them and cars and fires were everywhere! There were some that were fighting each other and others were feasting over something that used to live. I couldn't take it anymore, I held my stomach and looked away. "You alright?" A girl who was somewhat my height with her hair tied back and a red sweat jacket asked me. "Yeah. I'm just not used to seeing spilled guts not matter what." I told her. After a while, I started processing what's going on. "We, my friend and I, were being chased by a couple of crazy people we thought were drunk thugs so we hid out here on top of this building. I never knew we passed out." I told her the greatest lie I have ever made that would totally not get me bad.

"Were you bitten by any chance?" She asked. I gave her a small smile and replied, "Luckily, no. Those 'things' were slower than we thought. By the way, I'm Natalie. My friend over there trying to break up the fight is Kirstin." I introduced myself. "You must be…" "Zoey. My name's Zoey." Zoey finished by statement. "Those two guys bickering are Francis and Louis. The other guy in green is our leader, Bill." She filled me up on information.

Like the speed of light, the puzzle of this strange mysterious place was solved.

Kirstin and I are in the game of _Left 4 Dead. _We're currently at the beginning of the No Mercy campaign, which was straight after the cinematic intro.

…Honestly, I have no idea to be happy or scared shitless.

"Enough with you girls quarreling!" Bill broke up the quarrel like a professional. "There's a subway station leading to the Mercy hospital. We need to go there." He said. "I hate subways." Francis added in. "Everyone grab a weapon!"

There were 5 health kits, a tin case with ammo scatter around it, a couple of pump shotguns, a couple of machine guns, and three pistols with each gun having extra magazines. The survivors each took a health kit and Kirstin grabbed the last one. "Are you sure you don't want it?" She asked. "If you see me laugh when you put me in a shoden(1), then I don't need no health kit." I assured her. I gave her one of the pistols while I grabbed the other two. "You're going to need that." I told her as I followed the group down the stairs. If I remembered correctly, Francis takes a pump shotgun, Bill takes a machine gun, Louis also takes a machine gun, and Zoey chooses the shotgun.

Sure enough, it was a plain old apartment building with a couple of random people standing around, oblivious to anything. But you have to be as dumb as them to assume that before they spotted us and ran to their deaths. Francis took the small group down with the shotgun. We carefully walked over the re-dead bodies and going down another flight of stairs. "I hate stairs." I complained. "I second that." Bill joined in. Bill was supposed to have a surgery on his knee at a veteran hospital just before, but just as he was going to be a part of the sleeping medicine's effects, the nurse turned into a zombie and he killed her with a bonesaw. He walked off the powerful medicine just to get into his kickass outfit. I kinda take pity on him.

Just before I got off the stairs, I heard hurried footsteps from the floor above and just coming down the stairs. I whipped around and spotted three zombies shoving each other to get through. I quickly closed the door from the bottom of the stairs(2) and quickly got to the group.

_CRASH!_

That was probably the least sturdiest door ever.

A female undead ran merciless at me, so instant reflexes pulled the pistols' triggers and a bullet went straight to her head, knocking her down for good. I wasted 5 more bullets on the other two before joining the others, but that actions didn't went unnoticed.

Bill saw this and looked…..stunned? Is that a good word? "Young lady, have you ever used a gun before?" He questioned me. "On a human, no. On a sheet of paper that represented a human, yeah. My dad was a district attorney in Queens, New York and he knows a lot of cops. One of them, Anthony, asked my dad is he can show my brother how to shooter. Then several years later, I was at the range." I told the soldier. "I only shot a 9mm pistol. I wanted to shoot an UZI or an Assault Rifle, but I was considered too young to suffer from the recoils."

"Maybe that can solve the problem of my brother." Kirstin overheard us. "Hey! I know he can be annoying, but blood is very hard to clean out on carpets!" I scolded her. "Plus, first murders always has some place in your head that can be relived forever…like those zombies from behind."

Man, if it was hard to kill three zombies with dual pistols, how hard will it be to kill an entire horde? My head is so messed up, I can hear something gurgling barely touching my ear drums. This is going to be a long adventure.

* * *

**1. A Shoden is a Jiu Jitsu attack when you fold your attackers arm and pin down their hand, putting in pressure on that pressure point. It hurts, but you'll know the other person is doing it right. Plus you can take the attacker down on the floor when you put them in a shoden or use them as a human body shield. But hey, I'm a green belt hopefully going to earn my blue tip belt someday.**

**2. I don't know if the second set of stairs has a door at the bottom of it. But this is fanfiction, Gordon Freeman can talk and be Chell's long lost brother.**

**I did not add Francis saying "I hate stairs" randomly, if you have a copy of L4D2 and bought the DLCs, No Mercy would be one of them and you can hear Francis saying that quote.**

**Note, my dad does know a cop who once took my brother to the shooting range. The only thing lethal I shot so far was arrows. I'm planning on when I turn 15 or so, I'll ask my dad to take me to a range.**

**Speaking of DLCs, is anyone pumped for the new DLC coming up. What's it called...'Cold Stream'? Isn't it just the L4D2 survivors playing in L4D1 maps? Once again, just me.**

**I hope you guys liked it and predict what will happen next! What Special Infected will make its cameo? FIND OUT! (or vote)**


	3. I hate Frodo

**gNat2: It's 1AM, I'm supposed to be sleeping for Archery tomorrow, so here's a short up-**

**Team Fortress 2: She's mine!**

**Left 4 Dead 2: No way in hell! Your Source Film Maker is shit on her computer!**

**TF2: I have more hours of her playing on me than you! How many hours did she played on you so far?**

**L4D2: 20, bu-**

**TF2: 340 HOURS! SUCK IT!**

**South Park: Bitches please, we all know that I'm the one she loves.**

**L4D2:...Who the hell are you?**

**SP: I'm South Park! You know, the first cartoon with a lot of swears in it? The best show on Comedy Central alongside Futurama?  
**

**TF2: Are you a game?**

**SP: Yes! 'The Stick of Truth!'...in 2013...**

**gNat2: -goes in next room- Sorry, the fandoms are fighting over me. Korra is a good fandom and not fighting in, just jumping ships. Why can't boys fight over me like that? -sad sigh- Why are all teenage boys on Long Island immature and dumb? Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the opening ceremony of the London Olympics. I did, especially the one with J.K. Rowling in it...the 100 foot puppet Voldemort one?**

**Reviews from chapter 2 will be on the bottom.**

**As always, I do not own any references, Left 4 Dead, or Kirstin. Kirstin is Meepalicious and L4D is owned by Valve...who released an AWESOME DLC!**

* * *

We finally got out of the apartment from hell and finally breathe in some fresh virtual air. "The safe house is almost close, search for supplies in the alleyway." Bill told us as we walked around to find anything useful. I saw some dead body with a bile of…puke? It was clipped to the person's waste. "Grabbing a jar of puke…" I yelled. Louis came over to inspect this…thing. "From the logo here, it looks like something from CEDA. This is just me, but I think they're collecting boomer puke." He explained. "What's a…Boomer?" I asked like an idiot, it's to make sure they don't think anything strange of us (or me, especially.) "It's a fat zombie, like a _really fat _zombie who throws up on you and attracts hordes. If you shoot it, it'll explode but you might get shit all over if you're close." He explains. I was going to say 'We're in America, we're going to see plenty of those.' But I kept my mouth shut.

"Found a…kick ass ninja sword!" Francis called out. "It's called a katana, Francis. Also, IT'S MINE!" Kirstin dived into Francis to take the katana and did a forward roll off him in a kneeling stance. "My precious…" She growled in a weird voice. "Calm your tits, Frodo!" I yelled at her, giggling a little. "Girl, is your friend okay?" Louis asked me. "Try watching _Lord of the Rings_ when it's on TV every single day. But the books' are always better. "I hate books!" Francis called out. Out of nowhere, Zoey pulls out a mini notebook and pen and muttered, "Books…That's not surprising."

"Whatchya got there, Zo?" I asked. "Well, I made a list of what Francis hates. Plus I made another list for you just in case, since you seem to hate a lot of stuff." She told me. "Let's see the list." I said. She passed over the book and my eyes skimmed through it.

_Things Francis hates:_

_Subway_

_Books_

_Things Natalie hates:_

_Stairs_

"It's a start." I said as I gave back the book. She scribbled down something else and I peeked in to see the word 'lists' under Francis' name. "In horror movies, some people would whisper things that other people won't normally hear until they met their doom, so I got this higher sense of hearing." She explained. Right, movie directing major and spending the entire semester watching horror films in her dorm. How could I not know?

"C'mon ladies, we don't have all day!" Bill shortened the fun and we all head out the abandoned streets with your average share of cars ready to set their own alarms.

We slowly made our way around the corner and down into the subway station, where a odd looking zombie with one huge arm 'charged' after us. "Incoming!" I shouted as it ran in inhumane speed, luckily hitting no one. The original survivors poured their gunfire on it as I helped Kirstin up on her feet after she tripped.

"What the hell was that?" She violently whispered. "That's a charger." I replied in the same tone, then leaving her by the stairs. "Safe house ahead!" Francis called out as we ran in there one by one. We closed the door and placed the bar in. "Phew, glad we made it." Zoey sighed.

There was a big main room and a small room that is the bathroom. There's only a toilet in there (like washing hands will ever prevent giving you the 'flu') and the main room had graffiti on it. Some overwriting CEDA's health preparations saying that it's not a flu and what not, there was one that crossed out the evacuation zone and wrote **_MERCY HOSPITAL_** instead.

"So what the heck was that one arm 'thing'? Does that have a name?" I brought up the random spawned charger. "Honestly, I have no idea what it's called." Replied the biker. "All we know is that there are boomers, hunters, smokers, witches, and tanks. But that thing was almost mistaken for a Tank if it was for that flappy side that used to be his arm." "So what are we going to called it? Overralls?" Kirstin joined in. "It needs to be something obvious so anyone can know it's ability." Bill pointed out. "What about a…Charger?" Kirstin brought it up. "I like that name!" I played along. "Me too." Louis agreed. "We saw it charge into the wall, it might charge us into the ground if it caught us."

"…I hate chargers." Francis muttered. "Chargers…" Zoey added. "Will you quit that?" Francis yelled at her, only receiving a hearty short laugh.

So once we settled with the charger's name and healed up, I looked out the barred up window of the safe house leading to the wrecked up place called the subway station. There was a hole right in front of the door and you can see some zombies walking around for something to bite. I turned back from it and examined the guns laid out next to a piled of ammo. There was a hunting rifle, an auto shotgun, and a silenced machine gun.

I picked up the auto shotgun, "Nice weapons." I noted. Time for some shotgun rain(1)! What I can remember, there is usually a Tank in this level coming out of the subway cart that was near the ammo table. I better hope I don't crack any ribs from the falco-I mean, powerful punch(2). "Hey Kirstin, you should probably grab a weapon!" "No way, I'm fine with the sword!" "Trust me on this one…what's this?" I noticed something shiny under the table, a crouched down to see a magnum pistol. Nice.

"Take this." I offered her the magnum. "It's just a regular pistol." She complained. "No, these bullets can rip the skin of a zombie!" I fired back.

I hope we can get out of this alive and not dying and reviving in a closed room. I'm pretty sure this is real life and there is no closet respawn, so I better stay on my feet. Plus I hoped I don't have to take the fall for Kirstin since she's not experienced in this field, buuut she has a Japanese weapon so I'm pretty sure she's alright, I hope.

If I find a sharpener, I'm going to hide it like I'm hiding drugs in a car. No one knows what Kirstin does witha _real_ sword.

* * *

**First off, hurray for the Charger for being the first Special Infected that made a cameo! So yea...L4D2 infected are in L4D1. Also some important things:**

**1. Anyone name that youtuber? He has like 110 parts of Left 4 Dead gameplay with his friends and random people on custom campaigns and versus in earlier parts. He likes shotguns and his favorite L4D characters are Louis and Coach!**

**2. One does not simply resist a Falcon Punch joke.**

**REVIEW TIME!**

**FrenchFryLovesMaximumRide: First off, nice user! Second, I love your appreciation of my story in caps and I will PM you the whole thing with the AN and everything! -gives you internet hugs- Don't be sad. Don't turn into a witch and I have to cr0wn you, that would be terrible :'(**

**Yoshstar: Resident Evil, eh? I'm planning on getting 5 soon (A pre-owned one if they have one in stock and still run GameStock) then Operation: Raccoon City, then 6! 6 looks awesome and I'm glad Nova and Sp00n played the demo of it. If the demo is THAT good, then the entire game must be epic! Also, I'm planning on seeing the upcoming movie that's being released this November, that looked kickass. Thanks for liking this story as well, sorry I had to bore you with my late bandwagon jumping on Resident Evil.**

**Speaking of which, I'm bandwagoning of fandoms soooo late! Like Devil May Cry, Layton, Assassin's Creed, Amnesia, and now Resident Evil! I need to get a copy of the earliest version on the 360 along with ACI since ACI on PC is SOOO out of sync! When the Templar threw Altair into the next room, you can hear the rocks crumpling as he was released from the guy's grasp, which is kinda like a spoiler. You can see the mouth move from the characters when their speeches are done. Worst way to spend at a Summer Sale, CURSE YOU GABE NEWELL! Now I wish Borderlands wasn't a free for a few days...that game looks awesome...**

**Also, I'm going to be starting a new Xover fanfiction with South Park and Team Fortress 2. I have two plots in mind, one more simpler than the other and I'm leaning on that plot. So it starts off as Cartman discovering TF2 being F2P (so this is Meet the Medic time, 2011) and persuades Kyle, Stan, and Kenny to join. Suddenly something weird happens and...**

**-The boys become their respectful classes and join the TF2 verse **

**-Their classes (Heavy, Scout, Engineer, Spy) come to South Park**

**I'm leaning on the second plot but I'm going to be releasing a poll right after this is published! No deadline! Just click on my profile and find the poll, thanks! **

**Screw you guys, I'm going to bed!**


	4. I hate ninjas

**Meepalicious: -screaming in joy-**

**gNat2: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?**

**Meepalicious: DRACO MALFOY, or the guy who plays him, IS COMING TO COMIC CON! **

**gNat2: I just told you that...**

**Meepalicious: I KNOW! -runs off to watch Supernatural/Bug her brother-**

**gNat2: Well, so much to tell you about my 1AM update. I apologized for taking so long, it was hard to memorize the beginning of the second level with the big hole and what not and that alley way which drops to the vent. Meh, I can do what I want!**

**Reviews-**

**Yoshstar: I don't know, maybe not. I have this upcoming plot that is like a conflict coming soon. Just need to make a few more chapters and maybe after the first arc is done, I can post it. But not, it's too early.**

**The Engie: -hides sapper- WRONG! It's Ssohpkc! As a penalty, you get your sentry sapped -saps sentry and cloaks-**

**Meepalicious: This is why we use practice swords...plus you have nunchucks, I have sais, and I think your brother has a sword...SOMEONE BE DONATELLO WITH THE STAFF! WE NEED THIS CHAIN COMPLETED!**

**Dj73910: Whoa, I'm getting awesome reviews and I'm already requested to put in OC infected. But if I put one in, everyone else would want to as well. Maybe! PM me if you read this! Also, you think my friend is hot? Excuse me while I cover myself in Boomer Bile.**

**EmoEevee345: Follow...ditch...follow...ditch! Whatever, I don't really care as long I get showered in love. **

**Also, Meep and I are planning on writing a fantasy novel. We have no plot to it but it's called "The infinite scrolls" so it's just like Half-Life 3, it's there but not really there. Yea, we're in the earliest stage of developments write now as we speak. No I will shut up since majority of the words here are from Author's Notes.**

**I OWN MYSELF, NOTHING MORE!**

* * *

"Alright. Looks like the infected stumbled somewhere else, hopefully." Bill said. He took off the bar that held the door to what could be hell. After the door groaned open, we flooded out of there like shoppers on Black Friday.

There was this big gaping hole right in front of us, so we had to move to the side where all these shelves and desks are. I can see some zombies jumping up and climbing for us with weird, riled up noises. But their fates were changed(1) when their hands oh-so mysteriously disappeared….along with part of their faces if they're lucky.

Shortly after, we individually dropped down. You can see a the inside of what a vent used to be leading to the main subway place, which had its own path. Out of reflexes, I went into the vent. If it was the game, I could see highlights of needed supplies but sadly, this seems like reality more and more. Letting go of the trigger to take down three common infected. I walked over them and grabbed an adrenaline shot on the way end. "Grabbing a shot!"

"You're too young." Francis replied, can't really tell if he's trolling or not. "Adrenaline shot." I shot back after I broke open the vent lid. It was a short drop but I can handle it (me being tall and all) and Kirstin follows after me.

"Why did you go into the vent?" Questioned Zoey. "I figured something was there." I lied. Thanks Director for your generous gift. "What the hell is that?" Francis pointed the stick of adrenaline. "Like I said, it's an adrenaline shot. When you're beaten up and tired, you can use this for a boost of energy that usually lasts an hour or so. Like pills, it's a one serve only thing." I explained like a genius before stuffing it back in my sweat jacket pocket.

"Well, here's the subway."

There was the row of ticket gates standing in our way along with a small booth with smashed windows in it ("Found a pipe bomb!" Louis cried gratefully.). "Well, no one will catch us. No more cops, no more rules." I hopped over the rail and landed on the other side like a Olympic gymnast. "You don't know that." Francis cuts in. "I'm a cop!" He lies. "Where's your badge, officer?" I smirked, earning an "Ooooh!" From Kirstin and Louis. "I lost it….in a volcano."(2)

Soon as everyone found a way to get over it (mostly just following my lead, but Bill had some trouble being older than our grandparents.), we got up the stairs and viewed the destruction that the Green Flu gave us. There were some groups of scattered flames flickering, catching mindless zombies every now and then. There was a subway train that was battered and torn from impact of something big like an explosion or a crash.

"Into the subway." Bill stated as we made our way in and out of the subway cart. We walked further in the tunnel to see more wrecked carts, mindless zombies, and more flames. There was a table with a pile of ammo and a crowbar next to it. I switched my pistols with the melee weapon and was tempted to say "I AM THE FREEMAN!" But I kept my mouth shut and head towards an open cart that lead us to the other side.

Once the group jumped off, there was a door leading to a new room with a table holding a hunting rifle next to it. "I'll take the rifle." Zoey suggested. On the other side of the tracks, there was pain pills and a Molotov which were happily taken by Francis.

"Where do we go now?" Kirstin asked. I pointed to the open doorway out of reflex. "Through that door. But be careful, I'm getting a baaad feeling about the other room." She said. Francis, being a badass rebel that he thinks he is, ignore my caution. "Oh please, I'm a cop so I know when there's-"

_RUMBLE!_

_ROOAR!_

"…trouble." He looked back to see a large, muscular mutant 'thing' coming straight towards him. "Shit! TANK!" He yelled as he unloaded his shotgun at it, only to get punched by it and fly to the other side. I started firing and reloading my rounds to the big monster with the occasion of the other survivors having their share of screaming the Tank's name like a celebrity.

"Oh screw this!" Kirstin said, pulling out her katana. "I'm going in. KIIIIIIRSTIIIIIIIIIIIN KOOOOOOOOCHIE!" She screamed, waving the sword above her before slashing and hacking on the back of the Tank.

Oh my god, she just ran in.

She ran in to get the Tank on his knees! After her fourth slash, the thing fell and lied down on his front permanently! Covered in blood, she turned around with the most innocent look. "Is there something on my face?" She asked to the speechless survivors.

"Who knew melee stuff brings down such a big zombie." Zoey said. "Like a ninja in a sci-fi movie. C'mon, we need to go up these stairs!"

* * *

**1. If you can change yer fate, would ye? God I love Brave!**

**2. Need a line reference? Why not Zoidberg? Rahooooooo RaRahooooo**

**Meepalicious: Stop singing harmony with yourself, it's creepy!**

**gNat2: Am I the only one who thinks all the survivors saying an infected's name at once is a little bit over, for example:**

**Bill (being played as me, others are AIs): WITCH!**

**Francis:...WITCH**

**Louis: WIIITCH!**

**Zoey: I hear a witch, lights off!**

**gNat2:...Yea.**

**Guys, I made a side story of this. It's called "Side Stories of the Dead" It's full of crack and other stuff. From alternate scenes to my home, it's random adventures with me, Kirstin, and the original survivors. Check it out!**


	5. I hate crescendo events

**-looking at Gray Mann from the new TF2 comic Blood Brothers-**

**Meepalicious: Uh, Nat? You okay?**

**gNat2: I might be a sick girl but I find Gray a hottie! But he reminds me of statues shaped as angels -shudders-**

**Francis: What's her problem?**

**Meep: She's become full blown obsessed with Doctor Who. She's planning on cosplaying the 11th doctor for Comic Con...if she has 300 bucks for the jacket...and her dad gets people to commit into the discount.**

**gNat2: I only have $26 dollars! Come on! ThinkGeek was supposed to be cheap! And Redmon and Blutarch are discussing over a pregnancy machine! I might as well go Zoey from L4D...**

**Reviews:**

**Moonwolf123: I know. It's that awesome.**

**dj73910: -just about the melee Boomer- What? Where did you get that idea? I don't hate you! I hate Meep's brother, but not you!**

**The Engie: Criken? Oh, you mean the Karma charger that's coming your way? -Engie gets charged off the building- I love the new infected -saps sentry again- I love ya Engie, whoever you are! We make good team!**

**Meepalicious: Badass for a Badass. MAKE ME A BADASS IN YOUR FIC!**

**If anyone was curious about Meep and I's progress on the novel, we got some names down! For the main character, his name is Rowan Ibarra and he's a human who lives in the cold part of the land he's in. He gets a visit from a crazy old seer lady to go up the mountains to see the Snow Elves and meets Veryan who helps him along the way! Rowan was Meep's idea and Ibarra was my idea...meh.**

**I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MYSELF!**

* * *

After a short travel and many blood splattering moments later, we made it to a big room with two generators and a closed gate in front of us. The only thing that was blocking us from it was this table that trapped us in if climbing over it wasn't an option. There was a room on the right side that has a mounted machine gun in it and lockers and a big ass hole in the ground behind it. There were some gas tanks by the metal gate and…sobbing?

"The only way to pass through here is to turn on the generators and open the gate." Louis said. "I think it'll cause a lot of racket, and a lot of racket means a whole lot of zombies." Oh no, like I haven't discovered this was a crescendo event already –sarcasm buzzer goes off, exploding shortly after- "Let's look for anything we can use before we open." The survivors checked out the locker room as my friend and I checked the other parts of the generator room.

"Hey Nat, I'm probably getting the psycho maniac paranoia feeling from you, but I'm hearing someone crying. The crying is…a bitch?" Kirstin started. "Witch." I corrected. "Right. We should not disturb her at all cost. Lights off!" "Right, now you're getting the hang of it." I told her to hopefully boost her confidence to what's to come. "If anything tries to hurt you, I'll shove my crowbar right up its ass! Also, can you put me in a shoden wristlock?" I asked. I placed the shotgun near me and threw my hands in front of her face. "Fine, don't blame me if you hear a pop…" She grabbed one of my arms, stepped right next to me, bent it in half, tucked it by her armpit, and gave my pressure point a nice squeeze.

I was tapping on my thigh and giggling like a maniac as she went with the same procedure with the other arm. "What are you ladies doing?" Francis asked as Kirstin was just finishing with my other side. "Getting my trigger finger ready to the horde." I told him, stifling my giggles. "It's painful but it helps." "I like to see you try." Kirstin instantly grabbed his hand and did the same procedure. "Ow! Son of a shit, that hurts!" He hissed.

I finally got all the chuckles out of me and grabbing my shotgun before heading to the locker room. I saw Louis admiring the machine gun. "Oh man! I always wanted to try this!" He was like a cute child playing with his new action figures. "Well there's this hole right behind you. Is Zoey or Bill covering you?" I asked, grabbing some extra ammo. "I don't know. Bill's going to settle in the corner and Zo is keeping an eye on Francis." He replied. "I think Zoey and Francis have some sort of 'thing' with each other." I said. "You can barely see it. If you…stand on your head and look in a powerful microscope, you'll see it." This earned a chuckle from the optimist. "Nat, I have no idea where you think of that." He said.

After putting down the gas tanks in their proper place, we all got ready in our positions (with Kirstin scurrying to the other side where I am, hopefully to get her ass protected by a professional zombie slayer) as Bill walked up to the gate, hit the button, and ran back to his position. The room of darkness suddenly came to life as the lights went on and the generators groaned to life to make the gate open. It was going smoothly, if you take away the sound of the infected screeching as they came close. I can hear them at the bottom of the hole, so I grabbed my bile jar and threw it down. The successful crashing and green air followed by the undead fighting each other was going good. Kirstin used her magnum and started firing at the group, reloading every now and then. I soon join her in clearing the horde and their late guests.

The sound of gun fire and the barrel spinning had never been so beautiful before. Sure, I played No Mercy many times but I'm playing the _real _thing. Real gun fire, real zombies, real situations. Oh man, it's like Christmas in whatever month this is!

"Help!" Bill cried. My reflexes got me to turn around and go help the old veteran. He was trapped in the Smoker's wrath with some common infected beating him. I took out my crowbar and bashed in the heads of them and the tongue. "Smoker!" I said, like they always do when they see the special infected, and tried shooting at it with Bill's help. The coughing zombie exploded into dirty air, which will disappear when we get to the next floor. "Take this." I offered him my adrenaline shot and continued bashing in heads with my crowbar, like motherfucking Gordon Freeman.

"Crap, they took my katana!" I can hear Kirstin cry out, before screaming in terror. "SOMETHING'S RAPING MY FACE!" She yelled, being dragged out of the room by her legs as something odd was riding on her. "Jockey!" Louis said, aiming the machine gun. "Don't shoot yet!" I called out on him. "You might hurt her!" I ran to her as soon as I told him that. I pushed the Jockey off her and batted my crowbar at it. It tried running away with the insane Joker laugh with him, but Louis took him down when he got a clearing. "Thanks Louis!" Kirstin said.

The horde was gone, the gate was open, and it was really silent. My friend looked over at the thing that was riding her. "What the hell is that?" She kicked the body. "That's a Jockey." "It looks more like my brother." She gave it a harder kick. "Well, that's true. That little fucker is just like your brother." I told her. "So what does it do? Like, his specialty." "Well, a Jockey usually jumps on a survivor and steer them into danger places. Like fires, cliffs, spitter goo, incoming hordes. This is why you should NOT go fighting zombies alone in this universe!" I whispered the last sentence to her.

We got through the gate, up the stairs, and into a random room with a gun locker with an automatic gun, a shotgun, and a rifle. We stopped for anyone who needs to use the healthkit. "They made we drop my katana…" Kirstin whined. "It's okay, we'll find another. Here, have a machine gun!" Zoey offered her the small yet deadly gun. "Thanks." Kirstin muttered, still disappointment at the the replacement.

* * *

**I should stop talking in the Author's Note. But I looooooooooove to type out in my own way and pour out my feelings! I couldn't update sooner since I had trouble with internet connection from my laptop. Plus expect the next one to be a little delayed since I forgot what happens after the Crescendo event.**

**I also have camp this week at a university a few miles from my town. It's for computer gaming with this program called GameMaker. We're using the free version, which is pretty much pixels. So don't expect any Slender spin off or some copy of Ib. The week after I have the house FREE to myself and the week after that I have orientation for high school/ID photo day...meh.  
**

**So like my early 1AM update or I'll go Gordon Freeman up your ass! But you'll have to be lucky since I'll try to find people who want to do the upcoming co-op **

**-turns to Meep-**

**Meep: ...**

**Me: Y U NO PLAY TEAM FORTRESS 2?**


	6. I hate multiple references

**I walk down the street and this is what I see,**

**A bunch of Templars staring at me.**

**I have a hidden blade in my hand and I'm not afraid to show it, show it, show it...**

**I'm an Assassin and I know it!**

**gNat2: Finally caught up with my progress in Assassin's Creed Revelations. I finished all the Desmond Miles sequences (which remind me of Quantum Conundrum to this day.) and I officially ship EzioxSofia (Mostly because of the picnic scene). Now I can finally get on with the novel verse of it, but I want to read Brotherhood since I got it along with an Agatha Christie book. Man, her books are a thriller and so many pop culture stuff use her _And then there were none _title into pop culture (Like in Family Guy season 9 episode 1, _And then there were fewer._). It can make a good parody title for a good fanfiction. Someone used it on TF2chan's Adult Fanfiction site for the Mann vs. Machine update. Oh man, so many dicks on Afanfic...**

**Meep: AHEM! We have underage people reading this!**

**gNat2: But we swear in every chapter of this fic! New drinking game, for every swear Meep and I say, take a shot! Now, where the hell did I put my _Murder on the Orient Express _copy?**

**REVIEWS:**

**Meepalicious: It's the sound of being normal, my companion.**

**Dj73910: I would like to thank this reviewer for 'Da best writer ever!' Award! A sentry leveled up? -head inflates- HAAAAAAAAAX! -flying computer monitor comes out of nowhere-**

**Hanstrantdgw: I got another satisfied fan. Welcome, my friend! Tell your friends about me! We got cookies! I made it while having the theme to _Dexter_ on repeat.**

**I DO NOT OWN LEFT 4 DEAD, KIRSTIN, OR ANY OF THE REFERENCES USED! LAUGH WITH CAUTION! I cannot afford a reviewer requesting another pair of pants.**

* * *

After the short heal up, we walked down the hall with office desks in them (Internet Explorer? This guy was probably first to be infected.) and went down some stairs ("Great, more stairs." Bill groaned. "Stairs are a good workout!" Says Louis' optimism.) into the street of ruin. There is a safe house by the pawn shop down the streets with armed cars and zombies.

"There's a safe house in the pawn shop!" Bill said. "Don't shoot the cars!" He added in. If I was cruel like Francis, I would say 'Oh, you mean this car?' and attack it. But I know that I can't be saved in a closet no matter what.

_Grr…._

What was that? Some angry dog? I highly doubt that, but still. So far we met a charger, tank, smoker, and jockey. Shouldn't there be some more special infected kicking our asses by now? But we started on Easy, so the zombies and special infected should be altered by the mode.

"I hear a hunter…" Francis said. "Come on out, wussy." He called out. Silence. "I knew he wasn't a-"

_Raaa!_

That wall looks really interesting up close, minus the hooded infected trying to rip my guts out. "Hunter!" "Get this punk ass off me!" I shrieked, somehow unable to reach for my crowbar. Zoey shoved him off me and loaded her dual pistols into him like in the cinematic opening, this time to a wall and not a car.

I somehow was unable to stand, so I shouted, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! Someone get me LifeAlert!" in a dramatic way. "Come on Nat, get your ass up. We got shit to do." Kirstin offered me her hand and she pulled me up.

"Stand still, let me heal you." Bill offered. "No, we're almost at the shop. 'Tis but a scratch." "But you're bleeding." "I AM INVINCABLE!" I said in my British accent. "Alright, Black Knight, let's get to the safe house." Louis said. At least HE knows the reference, Kirstin is cracking up.

**~Timeskipping to the safe house, I'm that lazy~**

"Alright missy, time to heal up." Bill told me as he pulled out his unused health kit from the last safe house. He took out some medicine and bandages. He treated my wounds quickly since the pouncing piece of shit didn't do much damage. "Don't expect a hug." He said after 20 minutes, meaning he finished up.

He took one of the new health kits and I took another, leaving two left. There was a machinegun and a pump shotgun and an extra pistol with a pile of ammo right next to it. I reloaded my ammo and pocketed a few extra rounds. If I remember correctly, the door out of here leads us to an alley and we end up in the kitchen of Burger Tank. But there are places for melee weapons, guns, and some bombs and possibly explosive ammunition. After that-

"Crap, Natalie has that thinking look on." Kirstin teased. "I can hear the gears grinding the smoke coming out of her ears." Well, if I was in a pissy mood, it would be steam out of my ears, not smoke. "The hospital shouldn't be far from here." I said. "The alleyway might have some supplies ready to grab." I told her, looking out through the railing. "Hey, there's a katana right by the door."

Kirstin gasp, open the door, and simba'd the katana. "I'll never let you out of my sight, ninja sword!" She squealed as if Dean from _Supernatural_ came to life and asked her out. A zombie tried to ambush her, but its head suddenly fell to the floor.

We all finally go out and searched for stuff. I found pills, a pipe bomb, and an axe. The crowbar was unable to get as many zombies now since it is lubricated in zombie blood, plus the axe is really cool. No, the 'Heeere's Johnny.' Reference that just popped in your head wasn't the reason. Okay, I lied, it was the reason.

Kirstin found a Molotov and a pack of explosive ammo. "We got some frag rounds!" I called out as I helped her deploy it. I took 8 bullets and switched it with the ones currently in my gun. I switched it to my axe because you can take damage with firing it at close range.

"Let's see if there's a health kit here." Kirstin used her flashlight to light up the small warehouse, but quickly turned it off. Her face turned as white as a ghost. "What's there?" I whispered. She started to make these weird hand gestures. "Look, I don't speak Courage the Cowardly Dog." I whispered. She facepalmed, gave me her infamous gibbs slap, and somehow pushed me in the doorway.

There was a witch crying softly while walking around the small room with needed objects. I grabbed my friend's hand slowly walked away with our flash lights pointing away from her and into the Burger Tank kitchen. Zoey was by the door to the parking lot, wasting her frag rounds on some incoming infected.

"What took you girls so long?" She asked. "Gee, I don't know." Kirstin replied. "A witch was in our path. How else would we get away? Have a fish hook with a flare stick on it and drag it away with her in tow?"

"…Hey! That's one of those lifts that can go really high." I pointed at stupidly. "Maybe it can help us get up to the roof and into the building." "Great idea! We can walk by with those zombies coming every way! Genius!" Francis overheard us. "Okay, unless you can build one of Engineer's teleporters, the lift is the only answer." I told him as we made our way to it. "Actually, the exit teleporter needs to be in that location where the Engineer put it in order for it to work." Louis corrected, knowing he's a _Team Fortress _fan.

Bill, Louis, Kirstin, and Francis got on the lift with Zoey and I on the bottom. "I pressed the button." Bill said, shortly cut off by the loud groaning of the mechanic waking up. As it got higher, a ladder dropped down from the side. The college girl climbed up with me behind her. The sound of the incoming horde roared in the air as we rushed our way through. I was able to get in front and used my axe to smash the window.

I can hear screeches and moans from the infected down stairs. Without hesitation, I pulled out my pipe bomb, turned it on, and threw it down the hole. I ran to the other side to find a jar of bile was there. I grabbed it, almost dropping it at the explosion, and put it on my belt. Everyone shot at the zombies trying to climb up. I used my explosive rounds to mowed them down before dropping down on their corpses. In the room was a red box on the wall, which had two health kits and one pain pill.

We traveled down to the basement. There as a room next to us with some unneeded supplies, and there was a room to the right which had something making an unsettling noise. Hoping to meet the survivors down the stairs next to the uninfected corpse, I entered the room like a total badass to only have my badass mode into a coward mode.

Goddamn these motherfucking Tanks in this motherfucking mutation!

* * *

**gNat2: Hope you enjoyed my lovely 1AM update. School is starting soon so don't expect me to do it often. If you took two shots per every reference you find, you'll be dead-beat drunk and could be the next Demoman.**

**Also -clears throat and speaks like Prof. Fransworth- Good news, everyone! -ends voice- I'm doing a collab with Meep. It's something like this but we'll be hunting Mary-Sues in fandoms we chose when I came to her house several days ago after archery practice. I go to her in her basement with the TARDIS along with Devil May Cry's Dante and Vergil and we go jump in various fandoms and hunt down Mary-Sues in order to defeat 'The Creator' with our misfit army of characters! I'm going to be putting it in the Doctor Who category just for the fun of it since, after all, I stole the freakin' TARDIS...I might have enemies from a fandom somehow jumping into fandoms we're currently in and try to kill us. Like Daleks being in the Twilight series.**

**Well, as soon as I get Meep's part of chapter 1, we can start canon humping.**

**Meep: -lost air in her lungs from laughing too hard-**

**gNat2: I-I mean canon jumping! I need to sleep since I have an archery tournament coming up in a few hours (since it's 1AM on Saturday) and I'm in 11th!**

**Meep: 5TH BITCHES!**

**gNat2: -Gibbs slap Meep-**


	7. I hate Weeping Angels

**gNat2: I'm still alive! Even if I was dead, I would've regenerated. After all, I am the 12th Doctor.**

**Meep: In a fanfiction.**

**gNat2: If you guys aren't following me and just stalk my page (or F5 it) I uploaded a fanfiction collab with Meep. It's in the Doctor Who category but it goes into multiple fandoms by the TARDIS. I'm the 'somewhat' Doctor, Meep is my companion, and Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry also join us. **

**Now I'm anxiously waiting for the Dinosaurs on a Spaceship episode, but now I'm watching The Twilight Zone since it's considered a Sci-Fi show (on the SyFy channel) and it's REALLY good. Who could've made up an episode where a Nazi officer sees the ghosts of the Jews he killed, resulting him going crazy? I remembered reading a dialogue of one of the episodes in Writing Enrichment last year. It was called _The Monsters due on Elm Street_. **

**My summer reading assessment was to either add in a chapter or alternate the ending. The book from the requirements I chose was _A Tree grows in Brooklyn _by Betty Smith. It was a wonderful classic, it's still sad that everyone chose _Green Angel _since it has 110 pages.**

**Meep: You talk too much.**

**gNat2: As if talking to a cat doesn't help. Let me warn you that this chapter is shorter than my previous due to writer's block and a plot. Yes, a real plot I'm thinking up! Review time!**

**l4d2x-pert: Love your user!**

**VelvetRose529: I'm glad you enjoy this. It makes me feel proud about myself.**

**Hanstrantdgw: Thanks for the boost review! Glad you're enjoying this.**

**Meepalicious: Up and out and got your review. Also, email me or PM me the list of the order fandoms.**

**dj73910: You, my friend, is crack fanfiction in a review. Don't stop being awesome.**

**Well, onto the shorty shortness of short shorts.**

**I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MYSELF!**

* * *

Oh man.

Oh man, oh man, oh man. I really need to stop talking like Kootra!

"Fuck, fuckity fuck!" I shrieked. Unloading my shotgun at it, I walked backwards and away from the murderous machine on steroids. "HELP!" Soon I bumped into the other five with ground shaking nonstop. "What did you do?" Francis sneered. "N-Nothing! I turned by the corner and the Tank was just standing…"

_WHAM!_

Ah…I should probably cut my stories short during a zombie apocoalypse.

I was slammed into a wall and my vision started to bleed into black. Goddamn it!

**Kirstin's POV**

There was Natalie's limp body by the wall. I guess she took a fist to her torso –ba dum tiss- I hope she's alright.

I unloaded my entire clip onto the steroid zombie with the other guys doing their best at killing it soon. Finally, for what it seemed like a million years, it fell onto its knees and died. How many tanks did we encounter already? Five million? Wait, we encountered two. Damn. But Nat is still out from the blow, what are we going to do?

Francis examined her body and kicked her lightly. "She's still breathing. Man, she gets into a lot of trouble easily." He said. "We don't have time for this, we need to wake her up!" He added in. I thought for a moment. Natalie sleeps through anything, unless…

Ding! Lightbulb!

I kneeled down to the side of her sleeping body. I silently cleared my throat before saying something in her ear. "Nat, there's some angel statues right in front of us. I think they just moved when I blinked." Seconds passed, but Nat's eyes popped wide up and quickly go on her feet with her shotgun in hand. "WHERE ARE THEY?" She shouted.

A pregnant pause.

"God damn it, Kirstin!" I got a gibbs slap from her, as if was payback from earlier.

Yep, she's okay.

"At least tell me that the Daleks were going to exterminate us instead!"

**My POV**

I had the greatest black out ever! Just when it got good, a voice told me that there were Weeping Angels going to kill us. My instincts made me wake up and finally get on my pain, not giving a shit about the massive wave of pain my body is causing.

I realized the voice was Kirstin and I couldn't help but slap her on the back of the head or 'Gibbs slap' her. I feel completely fine, hopefully no broken bones.

I was then enveloped into a tight hug by Kirstin. "I thought you were dead!" Her voice was muffled by my shirt. "You're going to need a bigger Tank for that to happen." I told her, hugging her back.

"Is the mushy girly bromance over yet?" Francis ruined the mood. "Don't be an ass, Francis." Bill and I said at the same time with the same tone! Man, that's creepy!

We finally got over it and continued down the stairs. There was a dead man, a non-walker, lying in his own blood with a M-16 Assault Rifle and a Molotov right next to the stairs. "I think this person was trying to escape." Bill muttered. "They don't seem to be infected. It looks like they were dead and didn't reanimate…"I added in. "Poor man." I looked away to try and not remember what I just saw. The big room was full of tanks, like gas or diesel containers, and a sewage grate a few feet away from where I was standing.

"I guess the only way is down into the sewers." Louis said. "Let's hope the zombies can't swim." "Or some group of four oversized turtles with ninja weapons try to attack us." I added in, Kirstin broke into laughter. "Luckily we aren't in Manhattan."

* * *

"Hmm…interesting." A figure hummed. The unknown person was watching the survivors in an isolated location with several monitors in front of him. Each in several located areas different from one anothers, and the survivors in one of them. They were going into the sewer, one by one, even though the guy in the vest was complaining. One of the younger survivors, wearing a grey sweat jacket and a black chullo hat covering the top of her mid-length brown hair, gave him a small push and he fell into the hole. The person watched another monitor of him falling into the water with a big splash.

"I was planning on having four people play my game. These girls seem to be a challenge as well. One of them survived the Tank's mighty punch." He chuckled. He grabbed a remote with several buttons and pressed one of them. The familiar sound of an incoming horde was music to his ears.

"Things are being played _my _way now. You're going to need a lot of health kits, survivors."

* * *

**gNat2: I love my new hat! I got it at my town's street fair and my school was offering these cool apparels. We got a Kennedy(our school) T-Shirt and a black chullo with the Cougar (our mascot) paw on it. I'm wearing it right now, it's sooo cute! It was kinda odd that one of the ladies in that small booth noticed me since his son is in the first 5 periods with me. The fifth one being lunch, where all freshmen have to be.**

**-pulls down hat- It matches my black Doctor Who shirt and jeans. I feel like Slyfoxhound, kinda. **

**Alrighty, back to working on this story soon as I upload this. I promise it'll be longer.**


	8. I hate hospitals

**gNat2: I demand to know why Borderlands 2 isn't in my hands right now. I just discovered that Zero has a Leonardo from TMNT skin, resulting in my fangirl meter braking off the charts. I also saw a video saying that there is a minecraft easter egg. a LEGIT easter egg! You go to this place and you'll find dirt blocks you can melee with and there's CREEPERS, FUCKING CREEPERS! They're lvl 28 or so. I just can't handle it, Borderlands 2 is what the inside of my brain looks like! Bazillion guns and messed up monster, and an attractive middle age man running the utopia like an evil madman he is (In my head it's Medic from TF2).**

**Also, run away if you're creeped out, I bought Half Life 2 (not episode 1) from Steam and suddenly became obsessed with the Gman. He's mysterious and speaks so weirdly, and I find that the best thing I ever encountered. When I spotted him when I just started using the airboat, I was all like "Holy shit, is that the Gman?" So I climbed up the ladder, and encountered the two headcrab zombies who threw a BARREL at me in the warehouse. Stupid barrels, Pewdiepie told me not to trust you...Then my game froze. Woo! My HL2 game is always freezing during random parts and it always forces me to stop playing it and CtrlAltDelete it, even in Lost Coast! -continues ranting-**

**Meepalicious: Nerd Rage in progress. Don't mind her, she's just disappointed she finally got to get one of the games she wanted badly and some technical problem happens which requires her to get a better graphics card. While she's raging, you can check out her new fanfiction which is a Doctor Who/TMNT story. 2 Geniuses, 1 Dalek...**

**gNat2: THATS WHAT I SAID! Review time (Not a lot from last chapter v_v)**

**VelvetRose529: F*ck the police! I can do what I want!**

**Meepalicious: It requires losing your katana.**

**I DO NOT OWN LEFT 4 DEAD OR KIRSTIN!**

* * *

"Great. I'm breathing in shit, I'm covered in shit, my mouth taste like shit, I'm pretty much shit!" Whined Francis. "No shit." I said, our voices echoing through the tunnels. We were pretty much explored all over the sewers to find the lovely red ladders under a lovely grey sewer grate. Along the way, Francis tripped over his own feet and it resulted as him falling into the water.

"You guys are possibly the perfect couple in hell." Zoey added in. I was about to snap a smartass remark, but the infamous sound of an incoming horde alerted us. Ah….fuck. Now back to the good part!

"Through this tunnel!" We all shuffled in to a small and narrow tunnel that we used for the thousandth time. Bill took the lead and Zoey in the back. Not the moment too soon when the walkers (more likely runners) came from both sides. Luckily our leader and caboose kneeled down so Louis and Francis can get a better shot. We finally managed to push through the mosh pile and finally spotted the needed red ladders. How can I tell? There were zombies jumping from the ceiling and sometimes in the water, most of them disappeared on contact.

I was shooting my trusty shotgun when I heard multiple soft clicks. Crap, I'm out of ammo! But it's still useful to use its butt to smash their heads. One of them somehow slapped it out of my hands and almost made a meal out of it, Kirstin wasted the last of her bullets on him gladly. "Thanks!" I shouted as I grabbed my axe and lost how many heads I started cutting off.

Somebody threw a bile bomb through the grate that leads out right to the hospital. That gives us time to move our asses into the safe house quickly. One by one, we each climbed up and quickly ran into the safe house just in time.

"We're in the hospital." I panted. "About time, too." Kirstin added in."What now?" She added in. Bill, who took down a dose of pain pills, replied, "We fight our way to the rooftop and get on the helicopter." Like a badass leader who just lit his new cigarette. "The good thing that I can finally smoke in this death trap."

I looked through the rails of the door of the hospital. It looked something straight out of _Silent Hill_ (or at least the movie version). Blood on the walls, the smell of medicine burning inside your nostrils, destroyed equipment everywhere…It just gives me shivers down my arms, and I'm wearing a sweat jacket! Let's all hope there isn't a bobble head nurse or a witch with a nurse outfit. We already broke enough fourth walls as it is.

"This is messed up shit." Francis looked over my shoulder, only to use his magnum to shot a stray walker. There goes my eardrums. Zoey joined into the wonderful view of the hospital, "Whoa, it looks messed up. Not even those horror movies can beat this!" She said dramatically. Her head craned it to get more of what we have to deal with. "This placed didn't look like it was ruined by the infection. It seemed…raided." She said. "There are so many officers here, and I think an ugly rabbit plush thing has a saw sticking out of its ass." If she was talking about what I think she's talking about, I'm going to let Bill tell his side of the story.

"Moments before I went to get my knee fixed, there was a heist that was occurring." Bill growled. "Four men in expensive suits, one of them had an ear piece that was talking to him and I asked them to hold the elevator door. I think I screwed up their plan at the time, but I think they got away. Heck, I can't remember." He went on.

Yea, thanks for being the Easter Egg of Payday's L4D DLC, Bill! You're the best at letting them continue on holding people hostages and what not.

"We should probably head out about now. It's already dark and I'm sure that chopper won't be here when the sun rises. Let's go."

~Short moments after going out of the safe house~

"God damn that stupid fatass Boomer!" Kirstin shouted, covered in obvious puke as she shot the fatass a little too close. She was wiping off what was left of him off her as she used her leg to kick the door shut, barricading the infected who are attracted to the smell.

"Listen to me next time when I shouted 'BOOMER!'" I told her as we went up the stairs and into a lobby room. Just when I got through the door, a smoker from above grabbed onto me with his one of three tongues. "Smoker!" Louis said, shooting at the tongue. I fell on my feet at a sound of whooshing air and a horrible smell.

We got up the stairs and onto the higher level to go up MORE stairs ("I hate stairs." Francis gave in.). There was a big hole on the stairway, making it an easy shortcut to the upcoming crescendo event.

"Here is was, the place where I met those men." Bill stared at an empty space where an elevator was supposed to be. We went through a lobby desk and into the backrooms to find pre-dead bodies everywhere. "Crap, these are a lot of officers." "This town was probably the first to get infected the quickest."

Down the hall were rooms with the lovely police yellow tape on it. It's not like we care about what's behind it, they're all dead. You got some stray zombies running through them to eat us, some were patients (I can tell because some turn around to fall on their face, showing their glorious ass at us.) and others were probably visitors or guests. I think one looked like a construction worker.

At the end of the hallway to the left was the awaited elevator. A bed with a pile of needed ammo was in the gapped corner, the foot pointing to the metal doors.

"Do you think this thing works?" I asked. "If so, will it cause a horde." Gee, I can make a really good Spy. "It might cause some noise with the gear grinding." Said Louis. "Plus the sounds of our guns and yelling in pain equals…yea, this will cause a horde."

"Better get ready then."

* * *

**gNat2: I never felt so addicted to war games until I played Black Ops. I'm a level 10! Gun Games are really neat. Curse you boredom!**

**Meepalicious: Wrong news, Nat.**

**gNat2: Oh sorry. Good News, New Yorkers! Meep and I are going to Comic Con that Saturday! We'll get to see Phil LaMarr, and Sean Astin, and Uncle Yo, and Tom Felton, and the cast of the Walking Dead, and the Creatures...also, we'll get to spend the time with my friends Halli (who meep knows) and Carrie (who meep doesn't know). I'm possibly going as a human Agent P from Phineas and Ferb, but I'm possibly just going to be Ellis from L4D2. I be a HD camcorder, badly. I think Gassy Mexican tweeted about one at a decent price of $199. So much the spend, so little time. My digital camera eats up my batteries. We got it at Walmart and it sucks! Plus something happened to the cord that connects it to the computer to upload pictures onto it. Meh, hopefully I'll convince mom to look at cameras if we look for stuff for dad (like the Walking Dad season 1 and suits and shirts with pockets at Brooks Brothers) Who's coming?!**

**Also, Meep can't decide what to dress up as (Comic Con and Halloween related) can you guys help her? Just suggest ideas as you review.**


	9. I hate vests

**gNat2: I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry! I didn't update earlier! I can't help being lazy, and Digimon Xros Wars (plus Hurricane Sandy) didn't help. I'm a horrible person, I kept you waiting T_T I'm trying to pick my favorite Digimon that DOESN'T die, and that's Mervamon. It was Lopomon, then Deckerdremon, then Beezlebumon (and that monster fusion of Lilithmon. Only for Lilith), then Apollomon, and now Damemon! I sure hope Mervamon doesn't die (or Cutemon...or Dorulumon), she's a badass...not the Borderlands one...**

**Also, I'm a complete idiot. I just realized Cortana from Halo is also voice by the same woman who does Zoey. Meep, I command you to Gibbs slap me!**

**Meep: -Gibbs slap-**

**gNat2: Thank you. And thank YOU guys for suggesting stuff! Meep went as a Diglett and I was Ellis! I had my hair cut recently 'cause I wanted to go as Carley from the Walking Dead game. But SANDY had to rain on my parade! I lost power for 9 days and got it back on Tuesday after we came home from a friends house for dinner. You guys have no idea how happy I was to see an episode of House.**

**Also, I won't be replying to reviews. Enjoy my welcome back gift! Sorry it sucks, Writer's Block and all.**

**I OWN NO ONE OR NOTHING!**

* * *

_"Ow…Ow…"_

_"What's wrong with you, Nat?"_

_"My leg, ow, it hurts."_

_"What did your cat do this time?"_

_"It's not the cat this time! It was my school's gym. They made us do squats, pushups, and run around the track two times!"_

_"I do not feel sorry for you."_

_"Oh shut up! Stupid gym, stupid teacher who manages to be the football coach…Plus karate didn't help. So stupid dad…"_

"You alright?"

I hadn't realized I zoned out until Louis started lightly shaking my shoulders. "You look distracted." He said. "Oh yea, just thought about something not related to this." I told him. "I'll be fine!"

_"I think you need to go to a hospital…"_

_"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED A HOSPITAL? I'M INVINCEABLE!"_

_"Your leg still hurts, Pewdie?"_

_"Not as much but it's still there."_

I pulled Kirstin aside to an abandoned examination room. "What is it this time?" She asked. "It's…a strategy plan for this crescendo event." I started. "The infected will break through the walls on both sides. Special Infected will be common so watch out for anything oozing acid or smoke. We are on the fourth floor, the elevator is on the 28th…" I hesitated. "It'll take a while for it to get here. My guess…2 and a half minutes?" She stared at me blankly. "Whatever you say…" then she walked off to find a good combat station.

**Kirstin's POV**

How does Natalie act all cool like this? She just shoots and kill left and right like a boss! She can be like…what were they called…it's these group of men who play games and do some shorts. The…Creatures? Meep, who knows?

When I walked out, I spotted Francis near the door. "So what were you girls talking about this time?" He asked. "Boy bands? Leonardo DiCapri-" I gave him a Gibbs slap. "Oh! That hurts!" "What do you expect from a junior brown belt?" I walked a few steps before putting in, "Oh, and it was Supernatural." Then heading off to the elevator. I wonder if Francis knows what we were actually talking about, Natalie told me he can be a real asshole AND if someone goes into another fandom and that fandom knows their place in that someone's universe, some odd paradox will occur.

"Alright, so…Who's going to turn on the elevator?" Zoey broke the silence. We all looked at each other, but no word was spoken. "Hey Kirstin, you should do it." Said Francis. "No! I volunteer as tribute!" Natalie cried out dramatically, making me laugh.

"Well, let's get moving then." Bill tightened his grip on his assault rifle. "Alrighty." Natalie swaggered over to the buttons. "Ready in 10, 9…"

_BING!_

"...I got bored. Here they come!"

…Meep!

**My POV**

The infamous sound of another horde coming sang in my ears, along with the gurgling and the coughing. Before you know it, the wall on my right broke and assaulted as from the side. I chopped my axe through the crowd, some of their blood covering me. There were a mix crowd of infected, the ones of the streets with casual clothing, and the ones that suffer in a medical deathtrap with the doctor coat and the patient gown. In the darkness I spotted a tall figure moving around producing smoke.

"SMOKER!" I cut off the tongue before it got to me.

Floor 20…19. Almost there…

I then felt something burning the bottom of my feet. I jumped out of the green acid pool just in time before dealing any damage."Got it!" Louis killed the spitter, but it was difficult over the sound of gun shots.

14…13…12…come on…

"It's almost here!"

I kept shoving the zombies back as I attempted to reload. Suddenly something ran me to the other side and started punching me to the ground. "I'm getting crushed here!" I attempted to yell. Kirstin ran in and used her katana to slice up the charger. "How many times do I owe my ass?" I wheezed.

As if time loved me today, the long awaited bell of the elevator was music to my ears. "Elevator's here!" Louis yelled. "Move it!" Bill added in.

Through the undead and several decapitated or redead bodies, we managed to flood in the small space before the door closed up behind us.

"Ah…man…let's not do that again. EVER." Panted Kirstin.

It was a quiet ride going up. I quickly nudged Kirstin. "What is it?" She whispered. "You might like this part." I replied.

"I hate elevators." Francis complained. "I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals…and doctors and lawyers and cops…" He went on. "Francis, is there anything you don't hate?" Bill stopped him. This made Francis think for a moment (it's just as scary as you think.)

"You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests."

Typical Francis.

* * *

**gNat2: Not you too, Olegmon! Fucking...fuck!**

**Meep: It's sad that they took out the 'Turn into a digiegg' part, it became really dark and dramatic. **

**gNat2: Thanks to Sandy reigniting my obsession with Professor Layton and Digimon Xros War, I was hoping to plan on writing a Xover story of it. I have the title created (A new general? Luke Triton on the case!) that takes place in the Honey Land just before they (Xros Heart) move on to the next land (or maybe when they try to attack the general of that land) they stumble upon Luke! The only problem is, what Digimon can be his 'companion'? I was thinking Agumon, but he's overused. Maybe ChibiKamemon or Mervamon's brother...Whatshisnamemon.**

**You guys can send me your ideas, I rely on you to motivate me to upload my pieces of crap and create more!**


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